i'm going new zealand!!! damn excited.. already havin ideas of what to wear..
i wanna take lots of photos haha!
but nonetheless.. better study now!!
Really feeling damn brokeee!!
after paying exams fees of 1.9k WTF!
well hope my pay for this month is higher cuz i needa return sis for lending me some
money for exams.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Saturday, January 2, 2010
looking back and moving forward
WELCOME 2010,
Goodybye 2009 - bad boy!
2009 wasn't a good year for me.. I was just enjoying being 21 for 3 months before i tore my ligament on jan 30.. walking is not longer my thing for that 2 to 3 months.
had my operation on feb 26..
I had a bf back then, someone i din realise was more then a play thing.. I was sad, after the ligament tore he did his best to calm me down. but he did get sick of it.It was during cny and on e 2nd weekend i was stuck at home, he was happily gambling. he did call, text but only a few.We seldom see each other during my rest at home. He was working on weekdays and weekends he complained that i stayed too far.So we dun meet up. Phone was my only way out. I became a little obsessive, wanted to talk more every night. I just got on his nerves. But i guess i wanted more attention,and since i feel so weak n vulenerable inside. Valentine,s was a hard 1. I din enjoy myself. He was kinna pissed. ha. Maybe cause i insist oh him coming or maybe he was quite an ass.
For the 1 month before my op, i went to sch with crutches, leave after lesson. I cant hang out i cant go anywhere. I went for coaching with crutches coach verbally and signalling i cant demostraight.
Remembered 1 day it was pouring, after the game, i was stuck in it, wet, cant get a cab.. good thing was, it was not really a long wait,about 10 mins but every second before the cab came, i felt like shit, drenched.
After the last day of my lesson i had my operation. It was a 8am slot woke up very early to go to e hospital. Soon into lala land. by the time i woke up it was around 1.30p.m. Took a bit of food but i cant really eat. Sis got me ikea hotdog i had a few mouths. I was constantly feeling dizzy. I vomitted all e food out. Whatever i try to eat later came out. For the whole time he din come to see me, only exchange texts at night.He said he try to, but i dun see how hard it was. Alone in e hospital i cried really hard and keeping very quiet. I know deep inside its never gonna work. I know i'm nt his thing.
After e operation, i am like a caged bird, home was my cage even thou having keys, i only go out when there's coaching, revision lectures, or physios and doctor appointment. Otherwise i'm none other then a liability to others.
I have a hard time openning e glass door in sim. either hand on cruthes or door. i have to be really fast ha. Cant take public transport except my only way of transport cab.Every trip to sch n home was about 25 bucks. Wonder how much stuffs i can buy with that. Have to answer 90% of the time, hey wad happen to u.? hate this question.
Days that i have none, i woke up at noon waited everyday till dinner and eat my 1st and my only meal. Slept only late into the night.Cause i dun want my family to see me sad, or cry and i hate this feeling of waking up to another endless long day. Especially morning when no 1 will be there for me. Weekends always felt the longest, everyone's home yet i have nothing to do all day.
I cant put myself to study. i cant do work. Aimlessly pass long days and night.
I even hated looking at facebook and see where my frens been to all e clubbing stuff.. got obsessed over emo songs, lyrics .
It was endless.
I went for my 1st doc appt. hoping to hear good news as my physios felt that i made good improvement, but all i got was bad news. Doctor advised or rather told me that i have to avoid walking for 6 weeks in order for my meniscus to recover. another 6 weeks at home was e worst to expect.. I broke off with him. maybe he did with me. I cant talk or dicuss anything with him. I never had the chance to. i hold on to hopes yet i see no finish line.
Road to recovery was always hard, especially when my injury was so bad. Hated to have to warm e bench when my fellow teammates train. Hated to have to start from scratch and i cant perform. hated to see my girls suffer as i cant bring out the best in them.
As predicted, my exams results sucks. failed 2 managed to pass 2,
My rabbit died last year. PuiPui
I lost my 21st present ,camera from my besties. ( ok my fault)
I dun wann repeat history. I am not looking back anymore..
I befriended this exil ex bofriend.. but i'm not that me before.
I'm prettier, smarter, better and more confident abt the me then. Some said i slimmed down but i rather think that it was a loss of muscle mass and of cuz e emo period which i din eat much. Mayb i sld be a little thankful that he did have regrets.
I always wanted to thank u, G- thanks for bringing a crippled to the movies, accompany her to her game, help her, console her, talk to her on her worst nights, cheer her up , cared for her, got her flowers. (ur e 1st to give me a rose on valentines! ), burn movie to watch with her, came all e way down to accomoany her, ba gua that made my day in e hospital, canberry juice, BIG FOOT!!, brought me to hospital for my scan. THANKS SO MUCH!!
And sorry for, all e shit i've been like. drastic mood swings, taking for granted etc..
I'm so happy u found e right girl in ur life! I think i'm blessed to have a great friend like u!! =))
WEll its not all that sad. but it just was not a good start.
i got chloe,peppy, many new friends.. A new bf. And i loved myself more.
and a gucci bag for bday!!
Lets hope 2010 is a way better year!
Study hard, gym hard.
Goodybye 2009 - bad boy!
2009 wasn't a good year for me.. I was just enjoying being 21 for 3 months before i tore my ligament on jan 30.. walking is not longer my thing for that 2 to 3 months.
had my operation on feb 26..
I had a bf back then, someone i din realise was more then a play thing.. I was sad, after the ligament tore he did his best to calm me down. but he did get sick of it.It was during cny and on e 2nd weekend i was stuck at home, he was happily gambling. he did call, text but only a few.We seldom see each other during my rest at home. He was working on weekdays and weekends he complained that i stayed too far.So we dun meet up. Phone was my only way out. I became a little obsessive, wanted to talk more every night. I just got on his nerves. But i guess i wanted more attention,and since i feel so weak n vulenerable inside. Valentine,s was a hard 1. I din enjoy myself. He was kinna pissed. ha. Maybe cause i insist oh him coming or maybe he was quite an ass.
For the 1 month before my op, i went to sch with crutches, leave after lesson. I cant hang out i cant go anywhere. I went for coaching with crutches coach verbally and signalling i cant demostraight.
Remembered 1 day it was pouring, after the game, i was stuck in it, wet, cant get a cab.. good thing was, it was not really a long wait,about 10 mins but every second before the cab came, i felt like shit, drenched.
After the last day of my lesson i had my operation. It was a 8am slot woke up very early to go to e hospital. Soon into lala land. by the time i woke up it was around 1.30p.m. Took a bit of food but i cant really eat. Sis got me ikea hotdog i had a few mouths. I was constantly feeling dizzy. I vomitted all e food out. Whatever i try to eat later came out. For the whole time he din come to see me, only exchange texts at night.He said he try to, but i dun see how hard it was. Alone in e hospital i cried really hard and keeping very quiet. I know deep inside its never gonna work. I know i'm nt his thing.
After e operation, i am like a caged bird, home was my cage even thou having keys, i only go out when there's coaching, revision lectures, or physios and doctor appointment. Otherwise i'm none other then a liability to others.
I have a hard time openning e glass door in sim. either hand on cruthes or door. i have to be really fast ha. Cant take public transport except my only way of transport cab.Every trip to sch n home was about 25 bucks. Wonder how much stuffs i can buy with that. Have to answer 90% of the time, hey wad happen to u.? hate this question.
Days that i have none, i woke up at noon waited everyday till dinner and eat my 1st and my only meal. Slept only late into the night.Cause i dun want my family to see me sad, or cry and i hate this feeling of waking up to another endless long day. Especially morning when no 1 will be there for me. Weekends always felt the longest, everyone's home yet i have nothing to do all day.
I cant put myself to study. i cant do work. Aimlessly pass long days and night.
I even hated looking at facebook and see where my frens been to all e clubbing stuff.. got obsessed over emo songs, lyrics .
It was endless.
I went for my 1st doc appt. hoping to hear good news as my physios felt that i made good improvement, but all i got was bad news. Doctor advised or rather told me that i have to avoid walking for 6 weeks in order for my meniscus to recover. another 6 weeks at home was e worst to expect.. I broke off with him. maybe he did with me. I cant talk or dicuss anything with him. I never had the chance to. i hold on to hopes yet i see no finish line.
Road to recovery was always hard, especially when my injury was so bad. Hated to have to warm e bench when my fellow teammates train. Hated to have to start from scratch and i cant perform. hated to see my girls suffer as i cant bring out the best in them.
As predicted, my exams results sucks. failed 2 managed to pass 2,
My rabbit died last year. PuiPui
I lost my 21st present ,camera from my besties. ( ok my fault)
I dun wann repeat history. I am not looking back anymore..
I befriended this exil ex bofriend.. but i'm not that me before.
I'm prettier, smarter, better and more confident abt the me then. Some said i slimmed down but i rather think that it was a loss of muscle mass and of cuz e emo period which i din eat much. Mayb i sld be a little thankful that he did have regrets.
I always wanted to thank u, G- thanks for bringing a crippled to the movies, accompany her to her game, help her, console her, talk to her on her worst nights, cheer her up , cared for her, got her flowers. (ur e 1st to give me a rose on valentines! ), burn movie to watch with her, came all e way down to accomoany her, ba gua that made my day in e hospital, canberry juice, BIG FOOT!!, brought me to hospital for my scan. THANKS SO MUCH!!
And sorry for, all e shit i've been like. drastic mood swings, taking for granted etc..
I'm so happy u found e right girl in ur life! I think i'm blessed to have a great friend like u!! =))
WEll its not all that sad. but it just was not a good start.
i got chloe,peppy, many new friends.. A new bf. And i loved myself more.
and a gucci bag for bday!!
Lets hope 2010 is a way better year!
Study hard, gym hard.
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