to whom?

WAI !!!

Received ur wishing card!! but HELLO NO NAME LOR. My mum thought belong to my sis. SAD =(

And to make things worst Zoom in at the stamp there pls.

It writes ' SUPPORT MENTAL HEALTH'

anyways Thanks !!

♥ & misses. ♥

moody post

gosh i'm moody moody damn moody this few days.

Nothing seems to work right.

Feeling so tired aft waking up.

My chalet is round e corner n i have nothing ready.

MOODY..

Lets hope tml is a better day.

a pang of guilt.

woke up at 8p.m in shock.. with 9 miss calls and some messages. Overslept. Shit. Realised that i sld be coaching at np right now. It was e last trg be4 e competition starts. Answered e 10th call, had to make out e wrds sorry i overslept. Totally irresponsible, felt e disappointment in them. Had to tell them what i want them to practice on and when e call ended i text an apology sms. It was hard, starring blankly and all e things tat occured today came flowing into my still shocked mind.
I have had my piece of fun time throught e night then went to class totally unprepared, fallen asleep e moment i sat down, untill my fren came abt. Went home for a supposed 3 hrs nap but ended up with 6 screwed up big time. It was pointless rushing down to Np cuz they be done by then, din had e chance to make any amendments. To worsern it, all e players were down today with intention to prepare themselves for e games. I seriously dunno how to face them in wed, ashamed of myself not knowing my limits and responsibilities. Where a line sld be drawn somewhere, i thought i was handling well maybe this was a wake up call before all is too late to be realised. Well to say that i still have time dun sound at all convincing but hopefully its time i pick up e pieces and find e path i sld be taking. Stop acting like a kid and acting as my wishes tells.
I guess its not easy to understand how bad it felt, and i'm sorry to say that it felt worst when u guys said u understand. Like a heavy weight lying down on me. When it sounded okay it was totally not, as suggestions were made to improve conditions or reduce e feeling of guilt it seems so simple & easy but i knew deep inside as a matter of fact it was just excuses which i myself cant even acknowledge. But i still wanna say thanks for trying it was at least comforting and it did release me frm blaming myself.
Had a headache frm e lack of slp but i still dun feel like sleeping. Suddenly i just wondered when i think in other's shoes, i may pity and feel connection, try to help reduce it all but how can i possiblily fully know and feel exactly e same feeling.

Sorry for e disappointment

i've learnt a lesson a hard way.

I'm Really sorry, din know of anyway else to amend to this

or any better word to ease.

e beginning of this endless circle.

holidays are really over, i really miss it e moment it ends. My hectic boring life is beginning to appear bit by bit. Obstructing the me i wanna be. I want to Break Free. Its kinna tiring sometimes facing the same problems over work and realising some ugly traits that i actually have. I wonder what have i done to my girls after losing e passion in it. A little scolding at times a lil more irritated got impatient and extremely lazy. Who was this? Yet u want they to be proud of u, nt disappoint u, play well and impress. I detest losing yet nv wholly sure of winning, what did standards of the past put expectations to? There's a max to where they can reach so sld they enjoy or push e limits? It's kinna wearing me off thinking of testing the limits and stressing them out. I'n bored of it too. Achievements are proud moments however they may only be history but yet history that goes unnoticed overtime.

i wan

i am

me

Still i cant see.

heys Just wanna let u know i'm here for u !

Always be always will. Promise!

Chop with a Sting.

happy with money =.)

13OCT2008

So i went out with $32 Cash today. Thats all i have apart frm $24 in 2 separate banks and 3 accounts. SHITTY!

And i watched student priced movie had lunch in sch canteen and not forgetting window shopping. Movie was crap. 'Burn aft readin', But heys burn wad.. it was just a fucked up show with stupid storyline and wtf ending. Well and i din really fullfill e window part. Got a bangle which looked simliar to another e 1 i like at Aldo. Well i guess it looked 90% e same Except Aldo's slighty bigger and MUCH MORE COSTLY. I still believed it was a good buy at $9.90 Rather then $35 frm ALDO. But i landed home with Twelve bucks and a bangle. Hais simply discouraging. =/

Was not in any mood, Okays mayb its not so bad, At least my miserable pay came in just in time to rescue me frm 12 bucks. Well i simply cant imagine it have to last me all e way to my next pay, when i have so much stuff to pay for. And 1st will be e $88, and 2nd wad a time to run out of torture medicine - Glucosamin, my party needs, presents, my daily expenses, the increased bus fares, FOOD and an never ending list.

The usual October.

Okays every year's october just make women of my family grows older. Which means i get very very broke buying gifts for 2 impt person, mummy and sis. And this year esp as i'm goin to turn 21, some partying money just cant be saved. As usual payroll always hits rock bottom for Sept n Oct seem so hard to get by.

After buying pressie for my sis i had barely have much left damn sad and so i came up with an idea for mummy present a red packet and mayb some photos, luckily i saw goddaddy when i went for lunch with my sis n bro. Heh god daddy paid for these, e 2 red wines that mum liked and a sunflower. But it ended up as my gifts to her thou i din pay a cent

Take a closer look in e red packet!

ok it really sucked to be broke.